Thursday, June 10, 2010

nature vs. nurture...

do my kids get their dislike of sleep from a gene that derek and/or i am carrying? or do i simply make my kids hate sleep? perhaps i'm just so fun that they can't stand to miss out on just one minute of it...

all kidding aside, we're having a pretty tough couple of days here lately. anna has slowly abandoned her terrific sleeping habits for a more sparsely populated schedule of sleeping. and it sucks.

she's really not all that bad when she's awake. which is a plus. isaac screamed his little head off during all waking hours when he was this age. so, no complaints on that. she does require a bit of entertaining when she's awake. and with my hands full, it's hard to tend to other things (showers, brushing teeth, preparing meals, eating meals, isaac). so, it can get a bit frustrating. then when she does actually sleep, i'm rushing around (as quietly as i possibly can) doing all the aforementioned tasks, hoping to squeeze in a few minutes of quality time with my neglected older child before the next round of awake baby comes along.

i know, i know. if it's so rough, why am i on this blog right now. well, i've instituted a bit of a quiet time for the boy. he's in his room, "reading" books. hopefully falling asleep soon. currently singing. so, we'll see how it goes. and anna, who (thank goodness) seems to like her swing for now, is swinging back and forth dozing on and off. so, i thought i would get this all out there. of my chest sort of. to remember if i ever get the notion to have another...

anyhow, i think my new plan is to not care. if anna is going to sleep when she wants and not when she should (ie: when she's clearly tired and has been up forever) and she's not so unhappy when she's awake, i think i'll just strap her into the bjorn and carry on. forget what the books and other people say about routines and schedules and babywise and sleep solutions and happiest babies and all that crap.

for every minute that i'm trying to get her to sleep and she's staring up at me with those beady eyes and isaac is running rampant all over the house (usually naked), i feel like a worse and worse parent. frustrated with a 5 week old baby. resentful that she's taking time from isaac. worried that i'm turning him into a neglected kid. stressed because she "should" be sleeping more. so, if i don't try to get her to sleep and just let her do what she wants... maybe i'll feel better. we'll see...

3 comments:

Michelle said...

Keep your chin up Sarah! She'll be okay and so will Isaac - this a huge adjustment for you all and it will work. The bjorn may be a great life saver - so you and Isaac can go on adventures with the baby but hopefully Isaac will get more attention. I don't have anything more than that to offer - never having been a mom I have a lot of ideas but none tried and true. Take care! Michelle

Gloria said...

I hear you. Even with one I got frustrated trying to get a schedule going. I had to rock Jonas all the way asleep and put him down for a while (dark room, fan, singing etc.). Then when he was older and I could stand it, he cried himself to sleep a few days and we broke the habit (still with a dark room and fan though). I can't imagine with two. I say strap her on. She may fall asleep that way and then you can put her down. Like you said earlier, it will all pass sooner than you realize. If you get too frustrated put her down, walk away, and CALL SOMEONE to vent. You'll feel much better. I speak from experience. In Oregon I babysat a 4 month old who would not sleep and cried a lot (I realized where shaken-baby syndrome came from!). I called my mom crying in frustration as the baby roared in the background. I felt much better and calmer afterwards. Let her cry. She will live. Is this the record for longest comment ever?

The Redfields said...

Hang in there, Sarah... Truly we have all felt some if not all of what you are feeling. It's really hard finding that balance. Remember that it isn't just the two children who need your time. It's also important that you share that time with yourself and with Derek too. You really will get the hang of it, and I can assure you that Isaac will NOT be neglected, no matter how you feel!